Why my white kid has dreadlocks and so do I.
I know, I know, you could read the title in an asshole tone, but that’s not what this is. It’s our journey and facts about our story.
Ezekiel is a very sensitive person. Existing in a body can at times be too loud, too bright, too raw, too painful. Sensitive children, Psychic Children, whatever you want to call it, Ezekiel has S.P.D. (sensory processing disorder) and in researching about that, I discovered I do too, a diagnosis has made life easier in lots of ways, otherwise I don’t care for the labels.
We spend a lot of time shopping for clothes, nothing too itchy, nothing too…anything. This affects aspects of our life you wouldn’t expect, especially when Z was smaller and communication wasn’t great yet. Random screaming fits, endless diet struggles, trying to rip clothes off….and the struggle with the comb. If you know me, you know that I am a forceful and strong advocate for body autonomy. My kid’s bodies are completely their own to dress, adorn, reside in and own. Ezekiel decided that long hair was what would serve Z best at around 3 years old, I immediately knew this would get interesting because of the comb aversion, but it’s not my body and not my choice.
Around the same time, I had both succumb to a lifetime of fighting freeform locs and also seen myself with long, beautiful locs when I would meditate and envision my authentic self. It felt right, it felt like me. And to this day my locs hold so much beautiful meaning to me.
Around 9 months ago, despite shaving an undercut, Ezekiel’s hair began to loc, also around this time Cultural Appropriation turned into a discussion that people were finally having in white communities and it is a stance I agree with, feelings are valid and systematic racism is a deep seeded issue that is very much present.
While I realize that some people see dreads as CA, I also see that this is what my baby’s body does naturally. And as a mother of a gender eccentric child, I want Ezekiel to be proud of what Z’s body does naturally, not only with hair but with growth and puberty and I never want Ezekiel to feel Z was “born in the wrong body.” or “with the wrong parts.” And embrace the beautiful body Z chose naturally and all that goes along with it.
We have many conversations about what’s happening in the world today and do not make decisions in ignorance. I will support Ezekiel, I will support what Z’s body and hair do naturally and I will respect that combs look and feel like a negative force.
This is our story, another perspective, another journey.
All my love,