I love this beautiful being. The ridiculous gender stereotypes that I had helped uphold for society were all brought to the surface as Ezekiel began to grow, Z showed me who they were, what they liked, what they gravitated toward and I listened. More reluctantly at first because, after all, I needed to project the all important gender boxes to be a good parent right, I didn’t want Z to get made fun of, right? Fear based decisions kept me from allowing Ezekiel from living in their truth. What a disservice. What a tragedy if I didn’t check myself and wake the fuck up. Does this mean Ezekiel is gay? Trans? WHAT DOES THIS MEAN that Z loves pink and is the equivalent of a flower dancing in the wind in every motion Z makes? What does it mean? Well, the lovely thing is, it doesn’t mean anything…or it could? Fuck the labels and the boxes. It means freedom, it means having the power explore, it means Ezekiel will bloom into the person they were always meant to be. “But won’t HE look back at pictures of HIM in dresses and be embarrassed?!” What is embarrassing about expression, about art, about genuine happiness? If what Z chooses to be clothed in different style clothes, look like a different version of themselves, express themselves as whatever, it will be nothing more than the evolution of self that we all go through. Z will always know that body autonomy and respect was number one in all choices.
Being loving to your children, empowering them, holding space for them to trust themselves, allowing them to show you who they are, these are the keys in life and when someone is unloving toward them, it won’t matter. Because they know they look amazing. They know they are amazing. Kids are born confident. What has potential to destroy that is your unconscious dialog and actions. “Oh, look at her hair, how ridiculous” “Omg, they look HORRIBLE, how could they even wear that and think in looked good.” Etc etc on and on and on. Wake up in your speech, your children are listening. Even in the unloving things you say about yourself. “My thighs are so gross” and kids think “thighs can be gross? Are -my- thighs gross?” Replace your unlovely speech with life giving words “I am strong, Oh, looks like I’ll need a bigger size, that’s no big deal, Those pants look amazing on you, oh, that hat looks so great on them..” Refuse to continue to bully yourself, to be your kid’s first bully, unconsciously. Let love grow, bigger than your fear.