You didn’t choose him.


When there is finally a term for what your kid’s sperm donor did. I am so thankful that Ezekiel will never feel abandoned by this person even though he was in every sense of the word.

We were looking through baby pictures and Sperm Donor was in a few “who’s that holding me mom? I don’t recognize that person.” And in some pictures with only a partial face “Is that Dada with glasses on?!”

Ezekiel knows that he met Greg, his dad, after he was born and that there was another person that helped him come earthside. But it isn’t something I constantly bring up. I don’t preface his relationship with Sperm Donor as anything but what it is. It is not dissappointment or anger driven,it is what it is, there are a lot of ways children come to thier chosen parents: Adoption, Sperm Bank, A person that wasn’t ready to be a parent and left, it’s not that serious. Ezekiel chose Greg to be his dad. Family is not blood. One thing is for certain, we chose each other. It’s an empowering way of putting it instead of “He left you” to say, “You didn’t choose him.”

Sperm Donor was never part of the plan. Ezekiel didn’t choose him. His frequency was too low to ever be congruent with this bright light. He did not step up or rise to meet him. I chose to do the work and be better for my baby.

He isn’t the type of person I’d ever consider hanging out with, let alone being with my kid, so it’s best that he phased himself out and “ghosted” Ezekiel.

Because that’s all my kids will ever be; Empowered. I believe the choice was made and the course was set long before Z came to earth. He needed a way to me and I happened to be in a relationship and he said “That’ll do, because everything is going to be so great in three years.”

Choices look a lot of different ways, sometimes they seem sad at first, but they are the most powerful tools we have to live the life we want.

I love you, Ezekiel. Thanks for choosing me ❤

2 thoughts on “You didn’t choose him.

  1. Your blog makes me so happy to read everything you and your family are going through and how amazing your journey is! Blessed to be able to read these and I’m sorry about Sperm Donor, but you have everything figured out! You go girl!!

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