I can’t even express all the lessons I have learned in the last four years from my children. Everything I am currently, has been because of their influence.
Allow. Release. Ego.
These all have a new and profound meaning since my little people showed me the way life should be.
Live in the moment! We have been conditioned to believe that BUSY is good, productive, desirable. But is it? My children teach me that great joy is found in little busyness. Find the joy in a moment of staring at the clouds, comparing the feel of two bits of cloth (Ezekiel’s favorite), examining just how a straw works, following the cracks of a sidewalk or just looking at your hand! Your amazing hand! And they always make sure I look, too. “Look what I can do, mom! I am strong for that” As he’s picking up a toy with his fantastic hand.
The most productive days I have are when I’m with them and we are just all together being ourselves living in no one’s judgement.
Allow. By simply allowing my kid’s behavior to teach ME lessons, I give myself the gift and the freedom to observe life in a new way. Release. To acknowledge that my kids know more than me, put my ego on the back burner and just be free to learn.
Feelings are valid, we deserve love and validation because we exist
Isn’t it true then, that children long for connection instead of being put away by themselves alone for the very feelings they have no idea how to express…or maybe they know exactly the way to express them and that it uncomfortable for us as society because we have “rules” before us that make no sense in the fist place.
Allow yourself to have fun, to remember a time when you felt comfortable, safe and free. (before all these societal ideas, perhaps?) We are born perfect, kids carry perfect DNA. It’s only after we are born that they may not fit Society’s made up idea of perfection.
I have learned to allow my kids to embarrass me, because it’s not about me at all. THEY know their limitlessness. We have forgotten how that feels. Self consciousness, embarrassment, is a societal flaw, not a human one. We have been taught to be in competition with each other instead of seeing humanity for what it once was, one of One. We are all connected by our humanness. That connection is ageless.
A toddler screaming on the floor of a department store isn’t trying to be embarrassing, they are trying to feel heard. HEAR THEM. Create a dialogue of inclusion instead of authority. Set boundaries before you go somewhere, remind them of those boundaries every few minutes around the store as needed, TALK to your kids from a place of love and they will respond the same.
It’s all about actions. When kids are upset, it’s quite apparent. Instead of passive aggressive jabs, they lay it all out, immediately. And you know what’s lovely? They address the problem, immediately. And then they get over it, immediately. They don’t sulk for days or hint around that they are maybe possibly mad. (until they’ve been taught to by action) Get it out, get on with it and HEAL.
My greatest teachers may be in tiny bodies, but they have divine, wise souls, as all children do. I am so thankful that they were up for the challenge of coming with me on this journey to deconstruct every idea that I have ever had in order to become a new, whole person. We are partners/equals working toward creating and healing our world with LOVE.